I've been rather flustermapated with a lot of personal stuff going on here at the house. It's to the point where I just need to vent in some fashion, but I can't appropriately do so here.
However; I have had rather disturbing thoughts since the break up with my boyfriend. Not disturbing as suicidal or anything remotely close, but it has me cautious by nature. I want to give in to little impulses to feel that kind of need again. That kind of love. I think about looking for it in the most unsound places. I think of good friends who would likely be 'candidates' of my chosen affections. This, I know, is a behavior below me. This is the one thing I do regret about ever getting into a relationship... Its like a drug, once you taste it you never get enough, and often you look for it in the wrong places. So with this in mind, if, for any reason, I back off on conversations with certain key individuals. Its not because I don't enjoy talking with you any less. Its simply because my eyes are trying to see what they want to see. Simply put, subconsciously I'm looking for ways for delving into a relationship beyond friendship.
With Love for all my friends,
Kax
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Nov. 16, 2009
Truth isn't easily definable, but when one comes across it, one knows instantly what it is and does not mistake it for that which it isn't.
Truth... Friends are forever. No matter if they pass through your life like rain in the gutter, or whether they stay there like the family pet. Everyone makes a mark in your life, whether for ill or good, and thus, that friend lives on in your memories. Friends are forever.
Truth... Humans are a people who's main talent is dual-speak; hypocrisy. I have seen first hand many people who say wondrous good things on one side of their lips and the opposites' brother on the other. Its those people whom I find the most foul. An evil person is true to his or her nature. Same with a good person. Yet these people have their own category. The fence-sitters. They neither take charge or influence for either. They exist and cry out to whomever listens for something better, yet take no liberties to make these changes. These I have found to be your typical devote Christian or other such religion. Not that good people do not exist in them, but nor are they all good. Most are in this category of truth. Humans are a people who's main talent is dual-speak.
Truth... When one first comes across these people, it is not unheard of that we can be misled into their words, trusting in a different, nonhuman instinct to guide them. One can grow hope in this realm. Like a plant in a box with only one hole for light. That plant grows up and up with what little truth is given to it. Once it grows outside of that box, and sees the world for what it is. Cold and harsh, with ever bountiful Light. One can get confused, hurt even, at the guidance of the dual-speaker.When one first comes across these people, it is not unheard of that we can be misled into their words, trusting in a different, nonhuman instinct to guide them.
Truth... I find myself hurt despite myself. I'm hurt for what I thought I would have. Listening to a human's tongue and not what I should have. I guess it hurts more to know that they don't even realize. That that person would move on to the next and not realize the harm that has befallen. Will I be the only one?
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Oct. 19, 2009
"Our tribe is a most ancient tribe. Our ancestor's linked to the sea that encloses our land and protects us from the world beyond. They guide our slaves to our land, so that way our tribe may grow and prosper, freeing our warriors for their main task... To Defend and Uphold the Samurai way. One we are, one once was..."
The elder tells the kits of my mother's most recent litter. I, Takumi, have heard this story many a time. Yet never would I have guessed that my life would lead me to Honor far beyond my wildest dreams. Adventures lead me to here. To Treeclan's borders. But now I, and my newfound mate, Lucky, must go back to our birth tribe... For she, heiress of the Emperor, was given dreams of destruction... We must return... For the Honor of our Tribe!
Please Join me!
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